Suicide….. This weekend I got a message from a friend asking if something had happened to another friend while I was busy fixing up rental property. Looked a little on Facebook to see what I could find out, couldn’t find anything. So I texted another friend to see if he had heard anything, already expecting the worst. He called me right back, not knowing anything either, but like me was thinking worst. Twenty minutes later he calls back, the pain in his voice says it all, our friend is gone.
Why? Frustration, regret, anger fill my mind. I had several times just talked with my friend at work & even after work helping him work through problems as had our other friend. Then he transferred to another department on an off shift, & while we kept in touch some at first, it dwindled down to practically nothing. A few days before this happened, I saw an update he had posted on his Facebook timeline, & frowned, thinking I really need to give him a call. Now it’s to late.
I’ll be honest, I can’t even comprehend suicide or depression. Yes, I’m an introvert & tend to internalize my problems, but I’ve never even remotely thought of hurting or killing myself. I have blew up on a few people, & never seems like it’s the one that needs it. Kicked a hole in a cabinet door once, which immediately made me stop & think why an I’m doing this. And had a few to many drinks a few times, over people that really in the end weren’t worth it. But to harm myself, I still can’t imagine that. Closest thing I can remotely see myself doing is just completely walking away from everything, & becoming a hermit. And now that I have kids, that ain’t ever going to happen either.
Was also taught that if you commit suicide, your going straight to hell. Now I’m not going to completely say that’s true, but I pretty much believe that. It’s a pretty selfish act, & how can ask for forgiveness for it, if your already dead? Yes, there is mental illness, but there is help for that. Get it. That may be forgivable, if your a believer. But I’m not willing to bet eternity on it. After all we are to caste our cares upon Jesus? And is that casting our cares on Him? Wouldn’t that be a ‘said’ faith, not a real one?
Yeah, I know I’m pretty hard core on this subject. And I have waited almost 8 months to post this. 1 do to it’s content, & 2 because I’ve been slacking. But over the holidays, another coworker lost his son due to this. Now 2 little kids have no father, & a Dad has no son. For what?
So please, if you are thinking of this, get help. Either from a mental health professional, or a minister. Talk to people, let them help you
Reflections of a Nerdy Dad 